2/30 Things: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

1. I am afraid of dying alone. I am scared that I will be dying, and nobody will be there to hold my hand. Whether it be because it happens so quickly and there’s no time for people to get there, or a slow death in the hospital, I fear I’ll be alone. Don’t honestly know where or how this fear came about, but it’s been a fear for as long as I can remember.
2. I am afraid that something will happen to RJ and I won’t know. The X has never been good at keeping me informed about what’s going on with RJ. For years, I knew nothing. I couldn’t get him to return phone calls, answer emails, or even allow me to come to his house. It was a constant battle to talk to RJ. As RJ got older and started being his own person, he became more involved in technology, and calls, emails, and texts  is what I get all the time. It’s great. Several months ago, RJ had to spend some time at a facility for evaluation. Nothing bad, he just needed a little help with some things. I didn’t end up finding out about it until almost a week into his time there, and I only found out because RJ was finally allowed to use the phone. Sigh at the lack of communication that comes from The X. I fear that one day, if something more serious happens, I won’t know. Until it’s too late.
3. I am afraid I’ll eventually get fat. I am 33 years old, and have never once in my life, battled with my weight. Even when I was pregnant, I was thin. I was perfectly proportioned while I was pregnant, and people made comments all the time about how lucky I was. I’m grateful for it. However, there is a fear that rattles around inside my body. It’s a fear that one day, my metabolism will change, and the amount of junk I eat in a weeks time, will catch up to me. One day, I fear I’ll lose this size 2 body, and that does not sit well with me.