47 Days

For 47 days, I had painful stents inside my ureters. I couldn't cough without it hurting. I couldn't sneeze without it hurting. At times, I couldn't stand up straight because of the positioning of them. It was a true testament to my mental health, and I'm here to tell you, I broke. 

One Saturday morning, SS and I were headed out to the Farmers Market. As I got up from the couch and walked to grab my keys, I coughed. This cough literally brought me to my knees. At that time, the stents had been in for 37 days, and one can assume that scar tissue was already starting to form over them. This means that when moved, that tissue tears/rips, and it doesn't feel good. I struggled to walk around that entire morning, and ended up cutting my day short to just go home. Also at this time, I still had not taken any sort of pain reliever, that really helped. And the sound vibrations weren't helping anymore. 

A week later, I just couldn't handle the pain anymore. I was so tired of crying in the shower and wondering if things would ever go back to normal. I was feeling traumatized by this whole situation, that I finally called the Urologists office, in tears, and begged them to do something for me. He brought me into the office to talk to me, calm me down. He was 100% convinced that the pain was in my head and my anxiety was making it worse. He gave me a prescription for Valium, and sent me home. The Valium calmed me down a bit, but it never helped with the pain, of course, because it wasn't just in my head. The next day, he agreed to schedule me for a stent removal, but if I wanted the pain to stop asap, we needed to do it in office, instead of in the hospital with anesthesia. 

The last time this procedure was tried, I had a panic attack and the procedure failed. I couldn't allow that to happen again. I needed these damn things out, and even though I was so scared and certain it would fail again, I told him yes. 

My appointment was scheduled for 3pm, so I had to deal with the anxiety of it all, all morning at work. Because I was going to be on some heavy sedation medication (that honestly everyone I spoke to said not to mix), I needed to have a driver. Somehow I was able to convince SS to go with me, against his will. 

To be honest, this procedure should be more than anyone should handle, but when SS told me he was going to be really angry he took off work and this didn't end up happening, I knew I had to do everything I could. Between the medications I had taken, and the extreme amount of Lidocaine they used, I was able to get through the procedure. SS was proud of me, and even the doctor told me that. Whew!

I walked out of that office with zero pain. None. They were both out and I was pain free. 
Best. Feeling. Ever.