Unfiltered Thoughts

Today, I’m back at one of my favorite houses to housesit. I’m still holding on to the stuff that belongs to Jeffy, and figured I’d let him know that for the next five weeks, he shouldn’t attempt to pick it up from my house. I won’t be there.

I casually mentioned that I wondered why he still looked at this blog (seeing how neither of us want anything to do with the other), but the response I got was generic. Not what I had actually hoped he would say. But that’s typical Jeffy. Rarely said anything I actually wanted to hear. :-/

Here’s some unfiltered thoughts…

8:30am call time is no big deal. Having to be at the ranch by 6am to load animals isn’t the worst thing that could happen on a Friday. Shut the hell up and just do your job.

I will never stop calling him Jeffy.

I’m so sick and tired of hearing production people say that a Boxer is too vicious looking to represent their dog food. Boxers eat dog food too. And you know what? Most Boxer owners I know, would LOVE to see their favorite breed represented. Just sayin’.

It gives me anxiety when I think about having to see Jeffy face to face. I know what feelings will come flooding to the surface when I see him. I know what thoughts will run through my head, and I know what naughty things I’ll want him to do to me. I wish I could leave the stuff on the front porch in a bag, but I know better. He’d be mad that I left his stuff sitting around unsupervised. Can’t say I blame him.

Every time I look out my office window at my car, I get tears in my eyes. I’m very sad that she’s hurting. I’m very sad that I’ll have to get rid of her. Very very sad. Especially since I’m beyond nervous about having a car payment. Haven’t had one of those since I was married. (Damn divorces.)

I fucking miss him. I’m not gonna lie. I miss him A LOT. It’s normal, I know. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him back in my life, I just miss him. I miss talking about NASCAR. I miss sharing stories about new animals brought to the house. I miss asking questions that I know will get me a 15 minute lesson. I just fucking miss it.

I had a small vacation to San Francisco planned, but ended up having to pull out of it. I was really looking forward to seeing Alcatraz. Haven’t ever been there. And there’s just something special about San Fran that I love. But, with a new car payment in my near future, a trip just isn’t in the cards. (Being adult enough to know that, kinda sucks.)

My dad has guns that he wants to sell. Oh how I wish I was able to possess them. I would kindly take them off his hands. Darn felony laws. :-/

That’s enough thoughts for one day. Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the baby owl at our house.