Christmas means…

It’s Christmas time. Christmas time to me has always meant family.

Who am I kidding? When I was younger, Christmas was about who could get more gifts, me or my sister. Unfortunately, for my selfish mind, we always got the same amount. The competitor in me never won. It was so frustrating.

Once I got a bit older, Christmas was about time off school. While that was very exciting, it also meant we had to spend more than two days with my dad. And I hated every second of it.

When adulthood creped upon me and I had children to be responsible for, Christmas finally became about family. Nothing was more exciting than cooking a big Christmas dinner for my husband and our three children. We were, after all, a family.

Then came the divorce. Christmas didn’t matter to me anymore after that. It became something I dreaded and was, in fact, very bah humbug about. For six years I spent unhappily staring into other people’s living room windows, longing to once again have the happiness of a family at Christmas time.

I would put distance between myself and others who had invited me over for Christmas dinner. Pretending to be happy is not something I can easily do. The sadness and unhappiness eventually comes out and bringing everyone else down during the holidays was not something I was ever interested in doing. So I didn’t.

This year, it’s different. RJ is here and it’s all about Christmas. The neighbor (that always comes to help with my car) came over and hung lights on the outside of our house for us. He helped us get our Christmas tree. He offered to watch RJ for a few hours while I went Christmas shopping. He’s helped make this Christmas a memorable one. And I thank him.

RM#1 will be going to visit her family for Christmas, so it will be just RJ and I come Christmas morning. I’m anxious for him to open his gifts. I’m anxious for him to experience the kind of Christmas I feel every child should have. And I’m anxious to feel the excitement of family. He is my family. We are a family. Albeit small, we are family.

Merry Christmas, Readers. I hope your Christmas is magical!